break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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