It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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