Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
