maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
