I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
