The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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