I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
