Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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