i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i think my tv is drunk
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
