First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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