She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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