your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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