The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize