Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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