Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
