my mouth tastes like poor choices
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize