I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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