Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
