I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
