Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
