you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
