high people should be assigned attendants
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
