Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
