Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
