some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
