Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
