why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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