Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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