did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
