shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
then he tried to convert me to islam
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
