before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
