alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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