I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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