I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
