I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
