"it" just moved
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
