Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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