I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
