The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize