I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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