In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Randomize
