You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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