8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
