fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
