Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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