dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
