Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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