hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize