I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
