Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
