we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
