You're completely useless in the revolution.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
