take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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