I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
