Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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