IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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