okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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