There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
