shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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