Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Randomize