We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
