I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
