pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
