There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
