whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
