Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
