He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
