I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
