omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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