Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
