We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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