K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You're my little dorito
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
