Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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