she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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