So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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