i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he puts the penis in happiness.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
