It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
