Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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