...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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