i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
