my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize